God's Loan

"I'll lend to you for a little time,

A child of mine," He said,

"For you to love the while she lives

And mourn for when she's dead.

                       "It may be six or seven years

Or twenty-two or three,

But will you till I call her back,

Take care of her for me?

"She'll bring her charms to gladden you

And should her stay be brief,

You'll have these precious memories

as solace for your grief.

"I cannot promise she will stay,

since all from earth return.

But there are lessons taught down there

I want this child to learn.

"I've looked this world over,

in my search for teachers true.

In the crowds that throng life's land,

I have selected you.

"Now will you give her all your love?

not think the labor vain,

Nor hate me when I come to call

to take her back again?"

It seems to me I heard them say,

"Dear Lord, thy will be done.

For all the joys a child shall bring,

The risk of grief we'll run.

"We'll shelter her with tenderness,

We'll love her while we may,

And for the happiness we've known

forever grateful stay.

                        "And should the angels call for her

Much sooner than we've planned,

We'll brave the bitter grief that comes

And try to understand."

            "Let the little children come to me and do not forbid them;

for such is the Kingdom of God." Mark 10:14

Source/Author Unknown

SLEEPLESS

My head on the pillow

I’m Feeling like a willow

Then come the thief

That leaves me with grief

At 3:00 AM, he took my rest

He killed my dream when at its best

The doors are locked, the room is dark

My eyes wide open, the mind is blank

When did he come, When did he go,

the unknown spirit that stole my peace?

I am not at ease.

LaMore.



Note to a Friend

When you tried and tried, and things are not all right,

It’s time to move on to a brighter side.

Love is kind, love should not hurt, but maybe it fades out,

Life must go on. Forward is the word when going back is too painful

Go through the test, and heal on your own, happiness is inside of one,

never outside in others, give yourself time, dating now will be a disaster.

Confide yourself in family members and true friends, not everybody is, learn what love is.

When you know what love is you will enjoy the small things,

and pleasures of the flesh will become second nature.

She needs space to grow and to love herself again, she’s heartbroken, she needs to heal.

Healing will happen on peaceful nights, and rested mornings.

In solitude she’ll find the pieces of self worth to mend again with God’s help.

I will always pray for you, thanks for being there when she needed you the most.

XD.

The Flower and Me

You are the flower with its soft petals; your voice reminds me of an afternoon October breeze.
I am the careless wave that arrives without permission to kiss the sand on the beach.
The flower patiently waits, listen, observe, and then the spirit of God uses her to deliver the message
I am the wave that speeds up, roaring on its trip, breaking the wind to reach the shore and up to the flower until it turns into foam.
You are the flower, I am the wave meeting at the beach as two close friends.
LaMore

TOTAL SURRENDER

The story begins when in a prayer I asked God to keep my mind safe from the evil spirits of anxiety and depression, I prayed for a Miracle, and for a sign that he listened to my prayers, the next day I was at Staples buying ink for my printer, then for not  particular reason I found myself walking in this artist's isle. I bought color pens and basics to start drawing, I admit, I don't know how to draw, I never draw anything in my life. One day at the time this idea is taking shape and form in my mind, the Holy Spirit is guiding my inexperienced hand, although I know for sure that this is God's creative hand. I don't have a clue where this journey is taking me, but there is not a doubt in my mind that I am a joyful daughter of the Mighty in the Highest.           

OUTCRY TO HEAVEN

Sleepless is the night when the shining stars are dimmed, when the fatigue is great that you cannot sleep. Faith is nourishment of the soul, when the questions are not answered, and tomorrow, a written day with no chance of change.

Prayers and outcry has been heard in heaven, and the patience has gone to promote obedience. Patience is the key when Faith is the only treasure, as it is the fervent hope for God's time.

LaMore

WRITINGS WITH THE INK OF MY VEINS

Today I spent a moment with you, and my reflection in the mirror of your eyes
Because through your veins runs the same blood that keeps me alive.
Because I exist in your DNA, in a single line that you store in your thumb,
I have spent the best time with you until next time,

I admire in you the things we have in common, but mostly I enjoy our differences
Because they are funny and I laugh, because they are serious and I keep silent, because they are interesting and I wonder.

I love you and I have you stuck in my mind, and I light up when I think you.
You're the hidden treasure, that mom and dad left me when they passed away, because you and I is the only memory of them.
I always come back to your river and drink from your waters to appease the thirst of family that grows with my visits.

Please accept these doses of love that I give you, that love that our parents never taught us, but as adults we understand that love is not bought or sold, that is born as spring water, and the more you take, the more you give, and you can share with your friends and family.

I love your children because in them I see those eyes and eyebrows that Gregoria(grandma) had on her beautiful face, and I love your wife who God made from your rib and because she has decided to stay at your side.

I love the mixture of your journey through the world of dreams and realities, and I respect the limits that I would not pierce without becoming the intruder I have never known.

I want you to know that I recognize that I am full of flaws, but in a good sense of things I look for your acceptance and your admiration.
I'm like an acrobat walking a tightrope for a round of applause,
I'm crazy, I scream, I am foolish because I am emotional, but my intentions are good.

I want to make a difference in your life, I would like to steal what nobody can, it is the lock you used to close your heart and threw the key into oblivion.
I prefer to think of you crying alone for the absence of that key than to accept that you talk with your shadow, and she would have answered you. I LOVE YOU BROTHER.

LaMore

SOME KIND OF LADY

MY LADY DOGGIE   RIP Sunday July 18th 2010.
A farewell to my faithful and most lovable dog, we will love you, and remember you forever. I am so sad for your death, maybe one day we will get used to your absence, but your memory will always be with us. Good bye to my precious furry thing

SOMEWHERE IN TIME a memory rests.

Lago de coatepeque, El Salvador Central America

The rooster sang 5:00 AM

Children up and ready for the walk

The mother makes tamales for the trip

The father caught fish to exchange for milk

In the shallow part of the lake, the children bathe, and swim

COUNTRY MEETS CITY

 

My first harvest of apricots was very much enjoyed, after sharing some with my neighbors and friends, I tried my first recipe of apricot cobbler.
Filling
1 lb. of fresh apricots, halved
Topping
1 cup flour
1 cup of sugar
1/4 cup margarine
1 egg
1/2 tsp. salt
2 tsp. baking powder
preheat oven at 350 degrees.

Mix all dry ingredients, add solid margarine, cut it with a knife until it become crumbles, then add the egg and mix it to make a soft batter.

using pam oil a 9x13 glass dish, arrange halved apricots inside up, and spoon batter to

to cover the fruit.

 

Bake for 35 to 40 minutes until golden brown.

Let cool completely.

ENJOY!

WHEN BAD IS GOOD

                                                   

Many things have change in the last four years, not all bad, not all good. I cook smaller portions now, so I don’t have leftovers that sooner or later will go to the garbage. I recycle all my cans and bottles and sell them, also I recycle all glass, paper and tins for the City. I have become closer to God, I found out it wasn’t him who had forgotten me, but it was me walking too fast on my own. I learned to take the passenger seat in this trip called life, not matter what I do today tomorrow was already written for me before I was born.

Ephesians 1:4 “For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight".

I never pay regular price for anything; there is always a sale somewhere. I noticed that most people have flat screen TV;s, I will change my oldie when it breaks, so far it still working. I don’t use paper napkins, I bought a whole bunch of pretty linen napkins for a quarter each, it costs less to wash them. In the summer I lower my water heater to warm , I save in the gas bill. In clothing, I am buying more colors so I don’t have to use hot water when washing.
Instead of inviting people to restaurants, we do pot lucks at home. Not matter how difficult time we are all having, there is always good news to share or concentrate in the universe, and start a conversation about anything that we find amazing in it.
Matthew 6:25-27 25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”

Our financial problems started in 2007, continued to the present , I immediately started looking for solutions, cutting down on unnecessary expenses, stopped going to the theater, on long trips we always carry an ice chest, and avoid buying drinks and water at gas stations mini markets. We planned trips many months ahead and use a piggy bank for expenses while away from home.
In these four years I have learn to be patient, to keep in mind that sooner or later everything passes, to stay in good spirits not matter what, and to give, give, and give. Along with other things my husband gives away the first and best fruits of our trees we have in our yard, we make bags of our wonderful golden delicious green apples, and share them with our neighbors, we give away the first best sweet and juicy apricots. The smile on people faces when we give is priceless, that leaves us with a feeling of good deeds accomplished that lasts in our hearts forever.
Galatians 5:22 “But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness”.

If after all I still want to think about things, I do it while walking, never seating down where depression can hit me at any time.

BLESS YOU

I can only bless you whenever I hear your voice in anguish,

when you accuse, when you lie and invent.

When you hurt, when you suffer.

The blood, life, genes, a mother’s lap

it’s all the same, yet

not life is worth it when serve us nothing,

but ties that bind and accept rejection

Bless you, blood that plays hide and seek.

I find you, you find me, I embrace you and you go.

Bless you, life that ridicule, fill me and run away.

how can you live accepting and denying.

Neglecting love and wishing.

Claiming welfare and longing.

Receiving goodness and forgetting.

And where everything seems safe

in the intimacy of the inner self

you slowly return to reality

to distribute drops of inconformity

Bless you because someone understands you

Because reading in between the lines is an art

Because the pain is filtered and hurts the clown

when he looks in the mirror, and learns that the makeup runs.

Sooner or later, to all

we must be accountable

The responsible pays and follow the path

The other one regrets to have lived his journey

As I said before, reading in between the lines is an art

So I love you, and so I leave you

I need to be alone for now

To protect the self that never learns.

Bless you.

LaMore.

MISS ME NOT

She is the best invention, the eternal embrace, the warmth in my winters

the splendor of dawn,

she is the kiss of a rose.

I painted her smile, that's what she said.

she wipes my anxiety, that's what I said.

the journey is endless; the danger awaits its prey,

and I pray for her safety day after day.

My heart is the place where I keep her memories,

the songs of angels so sweet to my ears.

I washed her mistakes with my tears,

and healed her wounds with my love.

Lazily time passes as I embroider the lace

that will adorn her wedding dress.

Her unborn children play in the patio

while grandmother sings lullabies.

Blessed is the night when I dream about myself

crossing the bridge of her eyebrows

to peak a bright smile swinging in the arc of her lips.

A PERSONAL INVITATION

Life is the greatest school, I listed my priorities in wrong order, blew the candles before my birthday, I was a mother before I became a woman. I grew up with my children, and learned with them, and I was a mother, a good mother.

Maybe I act like a schoolgirl, or appear to be a bohemian, these things are normally lived at young age, as people call this fragment of life “First milestones”. The next twenty or some years following, my daily routine was this: Make breakfast, sending children to school, go to work. In the afternoon I picked up children from school, make dinner, put a wash load, and then put it to dry. Although the washing machine is the independence of women from hand washing, it just takes as much time sorting away colors, put the clothes in the machine, get it out to dry, then remove it again, fold and store). In this busy routine I had to find time to make appointments to the doctor, dentist, go to the market (more often than I would have liked), make phone calls to loved ones, order cakes, because when there is a large family, there are birthday parties every month. Finally at nightfall I cleaned my house and scrubbed the kitchen floor by hands and knees. Practically, that was my duty as a mother, but wife duties? That’s another roll that I don’t dare to explain.

As my mother used to say, "There is not evil that lasts one hundred years, or body that could out live it”, between school and baseball games, the children were maturing as apples off the tree, like birds they feathered, with large and strong wings to fly high.

Books have always being my predilection, although my reading time was minimal, I always kept the newly acquired in the bathroom. I was juggling with time; I was a mother, wife, student and worker, all at once. I went to college at night. I enjoyed the recess because it made me felt like a single person.

I am at the third age (between forty and sixty). For many women who did not mixed up the order of their priorities, who studied a career before marrying, or being mothers, maybe they don’t have grandchildren yet, nor do I imply that what I did was right, or that I missed to live my best years, or that I put my life on hold. I wasn’t born to be a martyr, I always knew that there was a force within me that prompted me to do anything I set out to, and did it well. Time was my best friend; I took advantage of it every minute. After all of those stressful years, I accept with the utmost sincerity, I feel old, but that old age which mates with antiques; while maintaining its originality and nature, their value increases every day. Only the well-traveled life can give you that taste of satisfaction to remember, as if you were eating the most exquisite dessert.

Today, my house is still full of books, if I want to, I can read three hundred pages from six in the morning to six in the evening, and not one prevents me from doing it.
Today I have time to observe that little creature that carries a leaf on its back to feed in the winter, and like the ant, without haste, I follow her with my eyesight until it disappears into its burrow.

Today, my gaze is lost in the horizon, and is now when I realize that even in the bustle of daily living; I can find peace in the silence. Today I know there is not tomorrow, because every day at dawn awakening, tomorrow becomes today.

Today I rather have a year full of small satisfactions than having a life of regrets. Maybe I act like a schoolgirl, or might appear to be a bohemian, ha! I invite you to grow old.

LaMore.

Thank you

Every night I thank God for everything I’ve been given in life, including my three children, but tonight I noticed I’ve never thank God for my two dogs; Lady(Lassa poodle) and Scrappy(shih-tzu).

I had the fortune of never choosing my dogs; they came to my life because they needed a better home, or maybe not a “better home” but a home where they could get a better treatment.

The day my daughter left home, she knew I was going to miss her tremendously. The animal hospital where she worked offered her a female dog in need of a new home. She asked me to pick up the dog. She added: her name is lady, she’ll keep you company when you miss me. I got tears in my eyes thinking, how a dog was going to fill the void that my daughter was leaving in my life!

Scrappy had to travel first class in United Airlines from Wylie, Texas. I invested half his price as a gift to my grandson; the baby dog was only three weeks old when we acquired him. Soon after my granddaughter was born, as soon as she started crawling, her mother didn’t think it was hygienic for her six months little girl to play with the dog. I think you guess the rest.

My dogs are very smart, they act accordingly if I'm sad or happy. How much they know impresses me on a daily basis. I mostly appreciate about Lady and Scrappy the unconditional love and loyalty they show for me every minute of my life. They are my ears and my eyes when am not actually looking or listening. They don’t ask for anything. My love and attention for these God’s creatures grow bigger as I think of how vulnerable they can be, that I must love them until death do us apart. To care for them in exchange of all the things I previously mention, and much, much more.

Thank you God because when my two boys got married, and my daughter was ready to experience life on her own, you gave me two dogs that taught me of how love must be given: Unconditional. Now I am positive that they do more for me than what I do for them.

Today is a good day to die

I have loved and I experienced hate,
I have lived in a dream what I have not yet achieved
I cried out of love, pain and frustration.

I've been able to laugh at myself, and that is the laughter I've enjoyed the most.
I've been relentless with someone who needed a lesson
I've apologized and acknowledged my mistakes

I have forgiven because that frees my spirit
I repudiate when there are things I don't consider fair.
I went to jail with someone who needed company
I've been drunk

The best drug is the satisfaction of a job well done.
One day by accident I left the store without paying for something and didn't return it.
I rode the carousel

I have never done sex, I've made love.
I've learned to use common sense when in doubt, it always work

I've sang, and danced
I've imitated others, and looked stupid
I am a wife, mother, grandmother, a friend, and I'm a mother in law.

I greet with respect to my ex-husband's wife
I accept it when I lose

I take many risks, sometimes I win and sometimes I learn
I accept myself with all my faults and virtues
I don't like mediocre
I'm not perfect; just do my best.

Gambling and losing teaches me not to walk the same road again.
I am bilingual
I try not to criticize others.
I try to understand human behavior.

I have a dog that is named "senorita"
I love to impress
I've bathe in the rain
I've experience at first hand betrayal.

I have traveled by train, plane, and public buses.
I've slept on the floor; I feel panic for snakes, disgusted by cockroaches.
I had mother and father that I didn't enjoy enough, and that hurts.

I don't have a mother in law; she is my husband's mom
I have a friend who is my husband.
I have children who are also my friends
I have daughters-in-law who are like my daughters.
I have grandchildren who think I am rich.

I've experience a toothache, the sting of a bee, ant and a scorpion
I have eaten tortilla with salt; I have eaten in the car
I have dine at expensive restaurants, and love tacos on the street.

I deal with people who feel superior to others, they look so small from above (this is a joke)
I always had money in my pocket, which happens to people who work.
I talk a lot, I am smart, intelligent.

Once I washed the blood from someone who took his own life,
The smell of death is the only smell that you can't make disapear; it leaves when it wants.

I am a successful mother of two boys and a girl
I prayed and I felt the presence of God.
I will never be a pilot, diver, or ride a bicycle.

Today is a good day to die.

LaMore.

The sound of silence

one single chair is making a statement, who wants to be indoors with a patio like this one?.

AURORA

Today, I woke up early, and you came in between the trees in my little paradise. I am a grain of sand before the majesty of your light, The iguana is waiting to warm her pregnancy, and your rays awaken the tiny hummingbird.

When All Else Fails

Today I was ignored by the deserted hills .
The colors of the sky didn't distracted my eyes
I was mired in heavy thoughts,
As balls of steel tied to my feet.

I crumbled before the face of adversity.
Someone touched my feelings because I am of flesh and blood,
and my soul and spirit allowed it

Insanity inhabits my being, while my mind is searching for common sense.
An inner voice speaks: When all else fails, talk to yourself.

I am talking to you my dear loneliness,
in you there is not betrayal, You are authentic.
In You I abandon myself to the reality that prompts me to discard anything that hurts, becoming a child in the arms of your patience.

Tomorrow I will come back with my head up high,
the mountains will speak to me.
With the wind on my favor I will dance to my fears.
Tonight, I have decided that at morning I will be fine.

Torn Between Two Worlds

Floating in the atmosphere as the air I breathe;
are the prisoners of my infinite love.
Like sparkles shining in the sky;
are my people, my family .

Fulfilling my dreams, sometimes I must fly,
And I leave the nostalgia at the speed of light
barefooted on the puddles of rain, I run.
like fuel to my senses, I smell the wet earth.

Writes in my soul the hand of the unknown,
a greeting, smiles, salutes.
The spring, summer, and winter become witnesses,
as it rise from the earth, a rebirthing mind.

And I would like to live life imitating a snail,
To take twenty years from my door to my port,
And that the clock would lose its hands,
And yesterday, today and tomorrow would join together at dawn.

The morning comes with a flag at half mast
Yesterday the mariachi sang to a regressive count
The lazy swallow must return.
Prisoners of my infinite love,
for you I live, for you I die.

The escape from the sun to my moons,
breaks my heart in a thousand pieces,
deceiving my love in the intent,
worsen my emptiness even greater.

On the other side of the sun are resting
bare feet surrendered. The luggage returns to the closet.
In my heart begins a persistent beat;
with the longing of wanting to go home.