Wednesday, July 8, 2009

A PERSONAL INVITATION

Life is the greatest school, I listed my priorities in wrong order, blew the candles before my birthday, I was a mother before I became a woman. I grew up with my children, and learned with them, and I was a mother, a good mother.
Maybe I act like a schoolgirl, or appear to be a bohemian, these things are normally lived at young age, as people call this fragment of life “First milestones”. The next twenty or some years following, my daily routine was this: Make breakfast, sending children to school, go to work. In the afternoon I picked up children from school, make dinner, put a wash load, and then put it to dry. Although the washing machine is the independence of women from hand washing, it just takes as much time sorting away colors, put the clothes in the machine, get it out to dry, then remove it again, fold and store). In this busy routine I had to find time to make appointments to the doctor, dentist, go to the market (more often than I would have liked), make phone calls to loved ones, order cakes, because when there is a large family, there are birthday parties every month. Finally at nightfall I cleaned my house and scrubbed the kitchen floor by hands and knees. Practically, that was my duty as a mother, but wife duties? That’s another roll that I don’t dare to explain.

As my mother used to say, "There is not evil that lasts one hundred years, or body that could out live it”, between school and baseball games, the children were maturing as apples off the tree, like birds they feathered, with large and strong wings to fly high.
Books have always being my predilection, although my reading time was minimal, I always kept the newly acquired in the bathroom. I was juggling with time; I was a mother, wife, student and worker, all at once. I went to college at night. I enjoyed the recess because it made me felt like a single person.
I am at the third age (between forty and sixty). For many women who did not mixed up the order of their priorities, who studied a career before marrying, or being mothers, maybe they don’t have grandchildren yet, nor do I imply that what I did was right, or that I missed to live my best years, or that I put my life on hold. I wasn’t born to be a martyr, I always knew that there was a force within me that prompted me to do anything I set out to, and did it well. Time was my best friend; I took advantage of it every minute. After all of those stressful years, I accept with the utmost sincerity, I feel old, but that old age which mates with antiques; while maintaining its originality and nature, their value increases every day. Only the well-traveled life can give you that taste of satisfaction to remember, as if you were eating the most exquisite dessert.

Today, my house is still full of books, if I want to, I can read three hundred pages from six in the morning to six in the evening, and not one prevents me from doing it.
Today I have time to observe that little creature that carries a leaf on its back to feed in the winter, and like the ant, without haste, I follow her with my eyesight until it disappears into its burrow.
Today, my gaze is lost in the horizon, and is now when I realize that even in the bustle of daily living; I can find peace in the silence. Today I know there is not tomorrow, because every day at dawn awakening, tomorrow becomes today.
Today I rather have a year full of small satisfactions than having a life of regrets. Maybe I act like a schoolgirl, or might appear to be a bohemian, ha! I invite you to grow old.
LaMore.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Thank you

Every night I thank God for everything I’ve been given in life, including my three children, but tonight I noticed I’ve never thank God for my two dogs; Lady(Lassa poodle) and Scrappy(shih-tzu).

I had the fortune of never choosing my dogs; they came to my life because they needed a better home, or maybe not a “better home” but a home where they could get a better treatment.

The day my daughter left home, she knew I was going to miss her tremendously. The animal hospital where she worked offered her a female dog in need of a new home. She asked me to pick up the dog. She added: her name is lady, she’ll keep you company when you miss me. I got tears in my eyes thinking, how a dog was going to fill the void that my daughter was leaving in my life!

Scrappy had to travel first class in United Airlines from Wylie, Texas. I invested half his price as a gift to my grandson; the baby dog was only three weeks old when we acquired him. Soon after my granddaughter was born, as soon as she started crawling, her mother didn’t think it was hygienic for her six months little girl to play with the dog. I think you guess the rest.

My dogs are very smart, they act accordingly if I'm sad or happy. How much they know impresses me on a daily basis. I mostly appreciate about Lady and Scrappy the unconditional love and loyalty they show for me every minute of my life. They are my ears and my eyes when am not actually looking or listening. They don’t ask for anything. My love and attention for these God’s creatures grow bigger as I think of how vulnerable they can be, that I must love them until death do us apart. To care for them in exchange of all the things I previously mention, and much, much more.

Thank you God because when my two boys got married, and my daughter was ready to experience life on her own, you gave me two dogs that taught me of how love must be given: Unconditional. Now I am positive that they do more for me than what I do for them.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Today is a good day to die


I have loved and I experienced hate,
I have lived in a dream what I have not yet achieved
I cried out of love, pain and frustration.

I've been able to laugh at myself, and that is the laughter I've enjoyed the most.
I've been relentless with someone who needed a lesson
I've apologized and acknowledged my mistakes

I have forgiven because that frees my spirit
I repudiate when there are things I don't consider fair.
I went to jail with someone who needed company
I've been drunk

The best drug is the satisfaction of a job well done.
One day by accident I left the store without paying for something and didn't return it.
I rode the carousel

I have never done sex, I've made love.
I've learned to use common sense when in doubt, it always work

I've sang, and danced
I've imitated others, and looked stupid
I am a wife, mother, grandmother, a friend, and I'm a mother in law.

I greet with respect to my ex-husband's wife
I accept it when I lose

I take many risks, sometimes I win and sometimes I learn
I accept myself with all my faults and virtues
I don't like mediocre
I'm not perfect; just do my best.

Gambling and losing teaches me not to walk the same road again.
I am bilingual
I try not to criticize others.
I try to understand human behavior.

I have a dog that is named "senorita"
I love to impress
I've bathe in the rain
I've experience at first hand betrayal.

I have traveled by train, plane, and public buses.
I've slept on the floor; I feel panic for snakes, disgusted by cockroaches.
I had mother and father that I didn't enjoy enough, and that hurts.

I don't have a mother in law; she is my husband's mom
I have a friend who is my husband.
I have children who are also my friends
I have daughters-in-law who are like my daughters.
I have grandchildren who think I am rich.

I've experience a toothache, the sting of a bee, ant and a scorpion
I have eaten tortilla with salt; I have eaten in the car
I have dine at expensive restaurants, and love tacos on the street.

I deal with people who feel superior to others, they look so small from above (this is a joke)
I always had money in my pocket, which happens to people who work.
I talk a lot, I am smart, intelligent.

Once I washed the blood from someone who took his own life,
The smell of death is the only smell that you can't make disapear; it leaves when it wants.

I am a successful mother of two boys and a girl
I prayed and I felt the presence of God.
I will never be a pilot, diver, or ride a bicycle.

Today is a good day to die.

LaMore.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

The sound of silence

one single chair is making a statement, who wants to be indoors with a patio like this one?.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

AURORA



Today, I woke up early, and you came in between the trees in my little paradise. I am a grain of sand before the majesty of your light, The iguana is waiting to warm her pregnancy, and your rays awaken the tiny hummingbird.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

When All Else Fails

Today I was ignored by the deserted hills .
The colors of the sky didn't distracted my eyes
I was mired in heavy thoughts,
As balls of steel tied to my feet.

I crumbled before the face of adversity.
Someone touched my feelings because I am of flesh and blood,
and my soul and spirit allowed it

Insanity inhabits my being, while my mind is searching for common sense.
An inner voice speaks: When all else fails, talk to yourself.

I am talking to you my dear loneliness,
in you there is not betrayal, You are authentic.
In You I abandon myself to the reality that prompts me to discard anything that hurts, becoming a child in the arms of your patience.

Tomorrow I will come back with my head up high,
the mountains will speak to me.
With the wind on my favor I will dance to my fears.
Tonight, I have decided that at morning I will be fine.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Torn Between Two Worlds

Floating in the atmosphere as the air I breathe;
are the prisoners of my infinite love.
Like sparkles shining in the sky;
are my people, my family .

Fulfilling my dreams, sometimes I must fly,
And I leave the nostalgia at the speed of light
barefooted on the puddles of rain, I run.
like fuel to my senses, I smell the wet earth.

Writes in my soul the hand of the unknown,
a greeting, smiles, salutes.
The spring, summer, and winter become witnesses,
as it rise from the earth, a rebirthing mind.

And I would like to live life imitating a snail,
To take twenty years from my door to my port,
And that the clock would lose its hands,
And yesterday, today and tomorrow would join together at dawn.

The morning comes with a flag at half mast
Yesterday the mariachi sang to a regressive count
The lazy swallow must return.
Prisoners of my infinite love,
for you I live, for you I die.

The escape from the sun to my moons,
breaks my heart in a thousand pieces,
deceiving my love in the intent,
worsen my emptiness even greater.

On the other side of the sun are resting
bare feet surrendered. The luggage returns to the closet.
In my heart begins a persistent beat;
with the longing of wanting to go home.